Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
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