I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
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Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert