every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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