Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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