I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
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