I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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