Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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