That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
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I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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