is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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