would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
