dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
