i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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