dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
