Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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