i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
