jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
