I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
