She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
