He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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