Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
