They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
