all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
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I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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