Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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