i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
