two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
