Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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