Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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