Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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