My nipple is on Facebook.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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