its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she looked like the before picture.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
