We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
