yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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