U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
