I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
