she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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