You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
