I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
