I just saw a hot homeless man
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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