It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
