I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What drink are we having for lunch?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
