so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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