they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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