I can't breathe out the right side of my face
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
