Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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