I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
