No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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