Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
