we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
