Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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