She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
