In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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