it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
