it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
