Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
