your room smells of hookers.
And success
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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