Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
