I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
