i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize