i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
