She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
